What is your biggest worry?
This is a pretty broad question that, frankly, could be answered a thousand different ways. If you were to ask me what my biggest worry was today, chances are, the answer would be something entirely different next week. But should it be? That’s a trick question, because there’s a right answer.
I’ll go ahead and lay my cards on the table and tell you some of my worries over the past couple months; in no particular order or rank of severity. Well, for the sake of remembering my worries, yes they are that trivial, I will follow in a order-like timeline.
Beginning in September I worried about:
- Getting over my ex. I was hurting. I worried and dwelled about all the possibilities of what could have been and what went wrong. Normal? Yes. Does it matter in the long run? No.
- My birthday and how I was going to feel turning 30. This was a super small worry, but still hit the radar. When the day came, I felt deathly ill and I didn’t care AT ALL about the emotional feelings of being in my 30’s. Turns out, age really is just a number, but the stomach flu…no dodging that feeling; it’s real.
- Deciding if I wanted to spend the time and money to take a professional writing class. I’m currently in that class and it’s all consuming. Mainly because my classmates are legit, vampire-book-like, authors and I write self-help columns. So there’s that.
- Finding a red dress for a gala. I partially blame my buddy Austin for this because every time I ran into him on the Katy Trail, both sweating – him from running and me from holding my dogs at bay, he persisted everyone was wearing a red dress. Well, there were a heck of a lot of black dresses that night. Just kidding, Austin. Sort of.
- Whether or not to go on a date with someone who I felt could lead me back to the same boat worry #1 got me in. That one cleared itself up on its own. Staying true to who you are usually allows for those types of situations to deflate quickly. It’s when you compromise your nonnegotiables that you find yourself in a pickle.
- How I should budget my money – nails every two weeks or a few new shirts? Aimee, really? Neither. I settled for both. This may be a new worry; my spending habits as of late. Once my mom reads this, I’m confident that problem will be ceased based upon fear alone.
- Passing tests for continued training with my job. This was a big one. I stressed and studied a lot. Got there and the tests were so easy, I was almost upset I made flashcards. Almost because I love school and I felt like I was in college again.
- Making it home from Boston alive. I got violently sick with, what I thought, was bad luck and another round of food poisoning. A few days later, not getting any better, I went to the doctor. I found out I’ve been sick the entire time with a bad infection in my intestines and that virus just kicked it into gear. Side note: I threw up in the Boston International Airport’s trashcan for the world to see, followed by throwing up for 4 hours at 32,000 feet. It was mortifying. 30 has been good to me so far.
- When and what I get to eat again. I haven’t had a real meal in over a week. This includes, coffee. Yes, that’s a meal.
I’m confident I’m missing a few (hundred) others, but I wanted to name a few that may seem silly to you. Perhaps the red dress is coming to mind. I’m sticking to my defense that it felt like a big deal at the time.
My point is, did you see anywhere on my list “worrying about my relationship with God”? Not only that, but worrying how I am spending my time and gifts to glorify Him? Please know, God is always something I talk about. Whether it’s with my community group discussing struggles or getting in the Word more, I think about Him. However, likely not in the way I should be, because off the top of my head it’s not something I could sincerely jot down. That, my friends, should be my greatest worry of all. And not just mine, yours as well. (I really shouldn’t label it as worry, but more of a desired and persistent drive)
We get so caught up with this life, and our minute issues, we forget what we are called to focus on as followers of Christ. God did not care about my red dress. He cared about my heart’s intentions for going to the Uganda Charity Event, but the fact I was more concerned with how I looked that evening than the reason for the event, is embarrassing. Both for me and Him. God sees your heart and at the end of this life, that’s all He cares about. He cares about your broken heart, but He values how you handle yourself during the pain. He worries for you in times of fear or doubt, but seeks for you to trust Him with the plan. (Philippians 4: 6-7 “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”) He knew I feared getting older, being single or dating the wrong type of man, but he expects me to follow Him and not idolize or selfishly date based upon feelings alone. He understands my concern for wanting to be good with money, not because of the ability to save or buy nice clothes, rather because what He has blessed me with, He also expects me to bless others with it.
Worries are real, but what you do during the struggle is the real focal point. Your motives matters. Are you looking for the blessings and seeking God during times of doubt or trying to control the outcome alone? I know I am guilty of controlling. So, be still. Let God help you. He craves to take our worries from us so we can embrace the joy He has for us in all circumstances, from sickness to staying level headed about a red dress.
Replacing worry with trust,
photos by: Melissa Fay Photography